One person asked me a very interesting question:
From the perspective of Orthodox Christianity, what choice is better for a person: to choose marriage, monasticism, or to live alone in the world without falling into fornication?
Hello (X)!
All three of these paths are salvific! In fact, the Gospel doesn't specifically mention monasticism because monasticism is precisely following the Gospel, that is, Christ. St. John Climacus said, "A monk is one who, in every place and deed, at every time, is guided solely by God's commandments and God's word." But isn't this what all Christians need? St. John Chrysostom said that a layperson and a monk differ only in that the former can marry, but both must fulfill all that Christ commanded. Monasticism emerged in the fourth century when the persecution of Christians ended, and many Christians began to lead a secular life, and monasticism was simply a reaction to this. During the persecution, everyone lived close to death and therefore lived and followed the commandments to the fullest. Christ came to save everyone; He gave one law for everyone; we all have one goal: "Be ye perfect, as your Father in heaven is perfect" (Matthew 5:48). Christ came to renew humanity, transform and restore it. After Adam's fall, our nature became infected with fallen nature, and Christ became the Second Adam or the New Adam: in Adam, all died, and in Christ, all were made alive. This is the essence of Christianity: to put off the old, sinful, fallen man and to clothe ourselves in the New Man, which means uniting with Christ in His Church. The first step in this process is the Sacrament of Baptism, when, through triple immersion and resurrection, we die to sin and the devil and become alive for Christ and grace. As St. Diadochus of Photiki said: "Before Baptism, sin resides in the heart, and grace acts from without. After Baptism, conversely, grace enters the heart, and sin tempts from without." The entire subsequent life of a Christian consists of maintaining and growing in the stature of Christ, becoming more and more like Christ through repentance, communion, virtue, prayer, and so on. We are all members of the Body of Christ, our goal is to be One with Him. The ultimate goal of every Christian is to acquire the grace of the Holy Spirit, to become deified (theosis), to become a god by grace, which means, through unity with Christ, to be adopted by the Heavenly Father and become sons of God. God loves us so much that He desires to unite us with Himself! And He is infinite, and our likeness to Him is endless; even in the Kingdom of Heaven, our likeness (becoming more like Him) will never reach an end. This is the great calling of man! This is what Christianity is all about! And to achieve this, we must make every effort, dying to this fallen world. Now let me explain what is meant by the word "world":
St. Isaac the Syrian gave an excellent definition of this:
The world is the general name for all passions. When we wish to refer to passions by a general name, we call them the world. But when we wish to distinguish them by their particular names, we call them passions. The passions are as follows: love of wealth, the desire to possess, bodily pleasure, from which sexual passion is born, love of honor, which gives rise to envy, lust for power, arrogance and pride of position, the desire to adorn oneself with luxurious clothing and vain adornments, the thirst for human glory, which is the source of malice and indignation, and bodily fear. Where these passions cease to operate, the world is dead; for, living in the flesh, they did not live for the flesh. Consider for which of these passions you are alive. Then you will know how much you are alive to the world and how much you are dead to it.
Our goal is to die to this world and live in God, I will quote from the Gospel:
1. Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it, but he who does the will of God abides forever. (1 John 2:15-17)
2. Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore, whoever desires to be a friend of the world becomes the enemy of God. Or do you think that Scripture says in vain, “He jealously desires the spirit that dwells in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it is said, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:4-6)
3. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)
4. If then you have been raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, shall appear, then you also shall appear with Him in glory. Put to death, therefore, your members which are on the earth: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience, which you also once walked in when you lived among them. But now put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to one another, having put off the old man with his deeds and having put on the new man, who is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of his Creator. Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all. Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and longsuffering; bearing with one another and forgiving each other, if anyone has a complaint against another; just as Christ forgave you, so you also should. (Colossians 3:1-13)
5. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. I have given them your word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. That they all may be one, as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us. Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not of this world.” (Gospel of John, chapters 16 and 17)
This is our goal; we are all called to this, not just those who live in monasticism, even those who are married are called to this life. It is heresy to differentiate between paths (monks and laypeople). There is one Gospel and one Way, He is Christ Himself, as He said: "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life." Our goal is one; only the place and conditions where we will carry out our struggle differ. In society, in a monastery, in a family, in a cave as a hermit, etc. The third way is the monastery in the world, living as a monk in the midst of this sinful world. It is difficult, but with God's help and humility, all is possible. You yourself must choose how you want to be saved: in marriage or in monasticism (monasticism in the world or in a monastery). Pray, visit monasteries; if you like it and are ready, then take the tonsure; if you see otherwise, then live as a nun in the midst of the world and bear the light of Christ. I will provide you with literature on this topic so you can learn more. One of the best books about this third path was written by the holy martyr Valentin Sventitsky, "Monastery in the World."
I also wanted to write to you one last thing about marriage and virginity and that virginity is a more perfect path:
St. Cyril of Jerusalem says that marriage is silver and virginity is gold.
Saint Apostle Paul speaks more about this in his epistle to the Corinthians:
Concerning virginity, I have no command from the Lord, but I give advice as one who has received mercy from the Lord to be faithful to Him. In the present need, I consider it best that it is good for a man to remain so. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek a divorce. Are you left without a wife? Do not seek a wife. Yet even if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such will have tribulation in the flesh; and I pity you. I tell you, brethren, the time is short, so that those who have wives should be as if they had none; and those who weep, as if they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as if they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as if they did not possess; and those who make use of this world, as if they did not make use of it; for the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be without anxiety. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a married woman and a virgin: the unmarried woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how she may please the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. I say this for your benefit, not to put a burden on you, but that you may properly and continually serve the Lord without distraction (1 Cor. 7:25-35).
This was also discussed by St Paul Kratirov and St Maximus the Greek, here are the links:
1. Regarding the perplexities concerning the Sacrament of Marriage (St Pavel Kratirov)
2. Against those who assert that the human race had to multiply through carnal intercourse/sex and birth, even though the forefathers had not sinned (St Maximus the Greek)
The End.
God bless you!
Bibliography:
1. Monastery in the world (St. Valentine Sventitsky)
2. Deification as the meaning of human life (Archimandrite George Kapsanis)
3. A memo to a monk (St. Varlaam Ryashentsev)
4. Dialogue VII. On Monasticism (St. Valentine Sventitsky)
5. On faith, and to those who say that it is impossible for someone living in the world to achieve perfection in virtues (St. Symeon the New Theologian)
6. The Unity of Christ's Ideal (St. Hilarion Troitsky)
7. On monasticism (Archbishop Averky Taushev)
8. An Offering to Modern Monasticism (St. Ignatius Brianchaninov)
To translate the books into your preferred language, use google translate.